I’ve never lived alone.  After high school I moved into a dorm in college with a roommate and shared a floor with 20+ other 18 year old girls.  (Technically, I guess I did have my own dorm room for one semester but you were never really alone on the 8th floor of Stephenson East in 1996.) After that first year, I shared a house with two other girls  and then moved in with my future in-laws for six months before Jeff and I got married.

Not only have I never lived alone, I have never spent much time alone.  I always loved having lots of friends and being involved in tons of things.  I rarely eat out alone and have never been to a movie by myself.  And when I’m the only one home I usually had the tv on to fill the space.

Until recently.

I don’t know if it’s being in my mid-thirties and becoming more comfortable with (even liking) who I am. Or maybe this is what happens when you have three babies in three years, spend eight years deep in the trenches and then suddenly find yourself with all three of those kids in school all day.  It could be that there is stigma associated with moms desiring “me” time. I know I often felt guilty about leaving the kids or “needing” a break even though Jeff was always willing to give me one.

I guess it doesn’t really matter what caused it but this is what I know today,  I crave being alone.  Especially in my house, in silence.

It’s like a breath of fresh air.

I feel like I’m able to complete a thought, read a book and maybe dream a few dreams of what may come.  I’m realizing that I can only be there fully for Jeff and the kids when I’m refreshed.  (I loved this from Molly last week.)  Not only that, but I am starting to figure out who I am after spending these last few years in the trenches and without all of those outside influences that I depended on so much in my teens and twenties.  That feels good.

Don’t get me wrong.

I love my friends and I look forward to meeting new people while we’re here.  I can’t imagine living life without my four.

It’s just that I’m not nearly so uncomfortable alone.

In fact, I really am enjoying it.

I know I’ve had a lot of kitchen related posts but as the head chef for a family of five much of my life is spent in the kitchen.  That continues to be even more true as grow in our whole food diet.  I really do have more to share and that is coming soon but I thought I would pass on a bit of what has been happening in our kitchen.

So, what we’ve been up to includes:

* Whole Grain Bread from Cynthia Lair’s Feeding the Whole Family. This has become the bread we live on.

* Roasted Garbanzos

* Carrot Tomato Soup

* Butternut Squash Apple Soup (I subbed sweet potatoes and it was delish.)

* Whole Wheat Muffins

There are many more but those will come in time.  I also wanted to updated on our “Real Food Challenge”.

I’ll be honest, we made it 100% for five days.   Then I broke in order to enjoy a wonderful, long awaited date day with the hubs.  I had wine and white flour and I’m totally ok with that.  Jeff and I have “debriefed” throughout the first few days of this project and we’ve realized that overall we’re very much okay with where we are.  I’m just not going to worry about the sugar in ketchup as we eat very little anyway. (Though I would love to make my own.)

The two areas that have come to our attention for our family are crackers and cereal.  The products we bought in these categories, though considered “healthy”, are still full of junk.  We are working to eliminate them.

I have also realized what an obscene amount of coffee I’ve been drinking.  Actually, I knew but it was my early morning comfort.  Strong and warm, that’s what I’ve turned to at five in the morning.  I’ve found a Yogi Green Tea that I really enjoy and will be drinking that from now on (with the occasional coffee).

So, while we didn’t finish the actual 10 days, I feel totally ok with what we’ve done.  Jeff’s on board for the few changes ahead as are the kids.

So here we go.

Inspired by Soule Mama {this moment} – A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Today is the day that we start the 10 Day Challenge.  This isn’t going to be as much of an adjustment for us as it is for many.  We already eat whole grains, natural sugars (lots of honey and syrup with a bit of turbinado) mainly whole foods and rarely eat fast food (they just don’t have it here and we’re never on base).  In fact, when I told Jeff about it he said, “no problem.”

The challenge is going to be sugar.  I know how pervasive HFCS is and it is the rare exception when it comes into our home.  But I got a sure awakening when I did our pre-challenge shop.  Sugar is everywhere.

Mustard? Check.  Salsa? Check.  My beloved spicy sriracha sauce?  Check.

Gross.

And when there’s not sugar there is just so much added crap.  Again, gross.

Now, let me stop right here and say that none of this, not the clean(er) eating, meal planning or shopping happened overnight.  This part of our family live has been evolving slowly over the past few years.

We aren’t perfect.  Both Jeff and I could stand to lose weight.  Just today we ran out of cumin for the refried beans.  When we’re in the states we occasionally eat fast food.

But we put one foot in front of the other and plug away.

Anyway.

For the next 10 days we’ll be following the plan.  The kids are on board though they know that if someone brings cupcakes to school they are welcome to have one.  Connor eats lunch everyday at asilo (we’re talking an awesome Italian feast each day).  He won’t be getting whole wheat pasta or bread there and I’m fine with that.

Since I feel pretty good about where we’re at already, I decided to add a little extra fun to the mix and am going coffee and alcohol free.  My coffee consumption is ridiculous and well, I live in Italy and have enjoyed the benefits of local wineries.  So, it’s two cups of green tea a day and water for me.

I’ve got meals and snacks planned and the tea pot on for hot lemon water.  Here we go.

Well, then.  This little topic got sucked into the black hole that is December.

In case you missed it, check out Part One here.

Menu planning is just one part of the picture when it comes to a stress-free dinner time.  You have to make sure to have the needed ingredients on hand.  That’s step two.

I know that it seems over whelming to shop for two weeks (or a month) at a time but it’s really no different than shopping for a week or a few days.  The only difference is volume.

As I sit down with the calendar and select menu items for the month, I add ingredients to my grocery list.  Sure, some things I (almost) always have on hand but they get annotated none the less.  I keep one list for the 1st to the 15th and a second list for the 15th to the end of the month (I usually keep the list for the 2nd half on the back of my meal calendar so it’s less likely to disappear).  Once I’m done planning dinners, taking into consideration snacks, special baking or other things I have planned I add lunch items and other necessities for the first two week period (or make note for the second half of the month).

After everything is compiled, I check the pantry.  Yes, basil is almost always in the pantry but it really cramps my dinner time style to be making spaghetti and not have it.  So, this is the time to double check.  If I have it great, an item crossed off.  If I’m close to running out, it stays.

Once these list are compiled (I double check the mid-month list right before I shop also),  I should need to hit the store for a major shopping trips only twice a month.  During these trips I purchase everything for a two week period except produce, milk (we had it delivered from the local dairy when we were in CO but that’s not an option here) and bread (I make our sandwich bread but we buy everything else in town as needed though I’m starting to try making other bread items as well).  Yes, you need a bit of storage but it is so worth it.

Wholesale Shopping

The love of Costco runs deep in my family.  It knows no generational boundary.  When Jeff was deployed last year I really embraced my monthly Costco run and stocked up on everything I could.  In fact, I made a comprehensive list of those items that we used in a month that I could get there (really, what can you not get there?). My list included:

TP, diced tomatoes, Annie’s Mac n’ Cheese, tomato sauce, shredded mozzarella, whole wheat pasta, canned green beans, vanilla, frozen berries, Pellagrino, syrup, Tillamook sharp cheddar, coffee, dry pinto beans, contact solution, toothpaste, jam and taco seasoning.

I even kept a spreadsheet with the prices (yes, a bit annoying) and could change the quantity needed and print out my shopping list with a good idea of my total. Let’s be honest, there’s always a few extra things in the cart at Costco.  Though the list really helped me be disciplined.

So, Costco knocked out a big chunk of my shopping for not only two weeks but the entire month.  The rest of my list for the first half of the month gets sorted by aisle (again, annoying but it makes it so much easier to shop, especially if you have littles with you) and off we go.  Every non-perishable item on the list for the 1st to the 15th is purchased at this time along with perishables for the first week.  I head home with my bags of deliciousness and am thrilled to know that I don’t have to think about it again for two weeks.  I have everything I need.

Now, a few other things that really help.

The last two years we were in the States we bought beef from a rancher.  The first year we got quarter steer and the second a half.  The half steer lasted our family of five nine months.  No, we don’t really eat that much beef but it was so great having amazing, high quality meat (ground, steaks, roasts, etc.) already in the freezer.  The only drawbacks were the up front cost and the amount of freezer space it took up.  Otherwise, we loved it and will definitely do it again when we move back.  If you eat beef regularly at all, I suggest looking into it.

Buy your bread in bulk!  We bought some of our bread at Costco but the most cost effective place is the Orowheat Outlet.  For my FtCo friends, there is one in Loveland and I know there is at least one in the Everett area.  The same 100% Wheat bread that was around $4.00 at my local store in Colorado was $1.89 at the Outlet.  But here’s the kicker.  More often than not I would leave with around 15 bread items having only paid $20.  At the beginning of the year they give a calendar of coupons usually buy one get one.  The Loveland store also did punch cards and Thursday was double punch day.  After you filled one card you got two free loaves.  I could fill a card in one Thursday trip.  Finally, for every $7.00 you spend you got to get an item off the free table.  So, bread, hamburger/hot dog buns, tortillas, english muffins all done for the month I spent about $20.

I’m still figuring out the best way to do our shopping here in Italy.  I’m making even more from scratch, we’re trying to use the local markets, butcher, etc. as much as possible, I’m still getting used to remembering to buy enough milk on base, and planning the monthly wine stock up at the local winery but my general approach is the same.

Yes, it does take a bit more time initially but I think that’s totally worth it.  I’d love to hear what you think if you give it a try.

I’m really great at starting things.  Running.  Knitting.  Schedules.  Projects.

You name it.

I’m horrible at finishing.

Really.

(Though I did just hack my way through knitting a hat, more on that soon.)

Yes, I finished college.  I’ve held jobs and completed craft projects.  I’ve been married for 12 years and dated him for five more.

But ask anyone who knows me well and they’ll tell you that I start many great things and many succeed for a while and then…stop.

I’ve had great, even valid, excuses.  We move a lot.  I have three small children.  Jeff works crazy hours.

All are true.

And yet they are just that.  Excuses.

Sure, some things I try and just don’t enjoy.  That’s okay.  But more often than not I give in to the excuses and the poor time management and…

quit.

Ali Edwards’ One Little Word has inspired me for several years.  I’ve even had my own words.  I’ve started the last few years with great words and then after a few months they’ve slipped my mind.

But this year, I feel like it’s different.

All three kiddos are in school.  I have a little time to breathe.

And,

I’m at the point where I feel ready to really pursue some of my own things.

Jon Acuff’s post put the nail in the coffin. (Though, I’m not following along with his plan necessarily. I was just inspiring to me.)

Finish.

I’ve started a lot, now it’s time to finish and finish strong.

Yet, one thing I’ve learned is that the goals must be realistic.

Yes, reading 52 books in 52 weeks sounds great.  But that just isn’t realistic in my life.  Instead, I’ll read as much as I can throughout the year.

I love the 365 project.  Playing along over at Habit (via the Flickr Group) in November was a delight and as I look though the year in photos when I took one a day, I so appreciate those images throughout the year.  My hope is to take a picture a day in 2011 but if I don’t it’s not the end of the world.

So, for now, I’m really thinking about those things that I want to start.  And finish.

No more messing around.

With that said, there are a few things I’ve committed to already. More will come soon.

On January 5th we will start 10 Days of Real Food. (More on that in the next couple of days.)

I’ve also registered for the Whole Food Kitchen (as have my sister and several friends) which starts in February.

And, I’ll be starting Natural Wellness in the next week or two which is my first graded class since 1998.

Yes, I’m seeing a huge focus on wellness in 2012 and it feels good.

So, what do plan to finish this year?

Inspired by Soule Mama {this moment} – A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

At this point, looking back on 2011, I have few words.  It was just such a crazy year.

One that definitely shook me.

There was so much good, thank God for photos to remind me, but wow, it was hard.

January

Almost there.  Light.  Dark.

February

Home.  Relief.

March

Adjustments.  Contradictions.  Comfort.

April

Friendship.  Light.  Peace.

May

Hope.  {If only I knew what was to come.  Still hope.}

June

Summer.  Shock.  Family.  Shock.

July

Denial.  Growth.

August

Duality.  Embracing.  Acceptance(ish).

September

Goodbyes.  Fun.  Lasts.

October

Future.  Adventure.  Missing.

November

Light.  Home.  New.

December

Peace. Paths. Hope.

May you notice your blessings in 2012 even if they are not what you expected.  Sometimes, those are the best.

On Friday, we loaded up the car and drove to Trieste for the day.  As soon as we stepped out into the ocean air I felt at peace.  Once again I was reminded that the water is my happy place.  I mentioned that to Jeff but of course he already knew.  That’s why we were there.  Our main destination was Miramare Castle.  It was beautiful.  We did go in and all enjoyed that but the best part was walking around the grounds and surrounding park.  More than one of us commented that it was like being at the zoo (without the animals, of course!).    We enjoyed a delicious lunch (fettuccine frutti di mare for me, yum!), walked along the water a bit and then headed home.

We spent Christmas Eve mainly at home.  I used the morning to prep dinner and breakfast for the following day.  We watched movies and hung out.  There is a town near us, Poffabro, that has several hundred nativities set up.  Hoping to miss the crowds and parking nightmare, we went in the late afternoon and enjoyed walking through the town.  After that it was our traditional lasagna for dinner, new pjs, FaceTime with Grammy and Grandpa then reading the Christmas Story from Luke.

Jeff read most of it but Jack read the last few verses.  I loved that they shared the duties.

I woke at 4:55 to sweet Connor saying “I can’t believe it is Christmas, I’ve waited the whole calendar for today.”  How can you argue with that?  He cuddled with us until 5:30 when Jack and Morgan came in and we headed downstairs.  The day was full of gifts, more FaceTime, guitar hero, playing with new toys and just hanging out.  Jeff and I each even took naps.  It was like a breath of fresh air.  Just what we needed.

On Monday we got back in the car and headed up into the mountains to sled.  My word are the Dolomites gorgeous!  We found more snow than we expected (and thus weren’t fully prepared) but we enjoyed a few runs, a picnic lunch and coffee at the rifugio. The kids fell asleep on the way back so Jeff and I were able to enjoy the view and some actual conversation.

Yesterday was another chill at home day as is today.  We went down to the bike/walk trail this morning and it felt good to get some exercise and fresh air.  Jeff’s back to work tomorrow so I’ll need to be on my game for the long days ahead with all three home until next week.

It feels good to have caught our collective breaths heading into the new year.  I hope each of you feel the same way.

Here we go.

If you’re my facebook friend (which I think all three of you are), you know that the past few months have been hard.  I’m normally one who loves everything about Christmas but this year I’m just not feeling it.  Yes, it’s great that Jeff is home with us this year.  And, hopefully, we won’t spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with the nastiest stomach flu I can remember like last year.  But, I’m not there.  Yes, Jesus is the reason.  Yes, my kids are excited.  Yes, the lights are pretty.

Blah.

Bring on 2012.

But, in an effort to restore my Christmas cheer I thought I’d do a little tour of our decorations.  And then return to meal planning talk in a week or so.

The kids have loved our advent activities again this year.  I picked up this advent calendar in San Antonio.  I’m kind of over the felt nativity look but it’s become tradition so it will likely stay.

The gratitude garland is hands down my favorite activity that we do in December.  I love the honesty (not every answer is Jesus and health, Jeff always is thankful for homebrew) and that now the kids are wanting to fill out their own.  I started keeping a journal of our list and am so glad that I have.  This is one thing that we will never stop doing.  Guaranteed.

Last year I did a wreath for our cards.  While I liked the overall look, I didn’t like that some of the cards were hidden a bit.  This year I decided just to hang some baker’s twine (how I love thee!) and clip the cards on with mini clothes pins.  I like this much better.

We are starting to have quite the collection of nativities.  This is one we got in Mexico the first year we were in San Antonio.

One of our traditions growing up was to go to the Oregon Ballet’s The Nutcracker.  I loved it every year and haven’t been back in quite some time. Nutcrackers are always a special part of our Christmas time.  Jeff went with us one year (he loved it, don’t tell) and I can’t wait to take the kids and my nephew.  I can already picture us filling an entire row.

Finally, one of my most precious treasures.  My grandma painted this in 1980.  I can hardly believe that it’s 31 years old and has gone all around the world with us.  Each year I’m a bit nervous that it will have broken but it always makes it onto the tree.  I barely remember her but this is so special to me.

So, there’s a peek at our first Christmas in Italy.

Merry Christmas, all.  Love well and enjoy every second even when it’s hard.