Yesterday I took Morgan and Connor to the doctor (C has bronchitis and a double ear infection, M has a single ear infection). Our ped is wonderful and everything went very smoothly.
As we were getting ready to leave, he asked if we knew of his plans to leave the base clinic. We did, as he had mentioned it to Jeff a few weeks ago at the boys’ well-check. We chatted about his move for a few minutes.
He continued our conversation with what a pleasure it had been to care for our kids and that he appreciates my positive attitude. He said he gets to know his patients’ parents and that I always have a smile on my face and am patient and kind and that he really sees the reflection of that in our kids. Then comes the kicker. You’re a real jewel.
That last statement got me all the way to my core. I walked out of that room feeling like such a fraud. Granted, those are all lovely things to hear but Idon’t share them to build myself up. The fact is, I am usually those things in public and I used to be those things most of the time at home. But, lately (if I’m honest the last oh year or so), that hasn’t been so true and I can’t stand it. Instead, I’ve been the nagging and inpatient mom that isn’t much fun to be around. I recognized it some before but never like I did as I walked out of that exam room.
The good news is that, at least for the least for the last 24 hours, there’s been a change. Both in me and in the tone around our home. That’s a good start.