Range of Emotions

Everyone keeps asking if I’m excited.  It seems as if they expect me to scream “YES!” while doing cartwheels.

Yet, I’m not.

It’s not that I’m not excited.  I am.  But I’m also anxious, nervous, cautious, and trying to keep realistic expectations.  This is new territory for me even though I’ve been a military wife for nearly 12 years.  We haven’t been apart for this long since I was in college and we were dating.  Now, we’ve rarely been apart have three small children.

I’m just not sure how things will go.

Honestly, I just want things to be normal.  Like it always is when we’re together.  But I know we will all have some adjustments.  Probably him more than us.

I expressed my mixed emotions to him and his response went straight to the center of my heart.

“Once I get home, everything will be fine.  We’re the best team I know.”

It’s true.  We are.

He’s my best friend.  He knows all about me and sometimes has insights about me that I haven’t discovered for myself.  The one I’d rather be with over any other.  The one I’ve known for half my life.

And so, despite the continued range of emotions, I know that once it’s just us I’ll grab his hand and we’ll settle in.

A team reunited.

Range of Emotions

Everyone keeps asking if I’m excited.  It seems as if they expect me to scream “YES!” while doing cartwheels.
Yet, I’m not.
It’s not that I’m not excited.  I am.  But I’m also anxious, nervous, cautious, and trying to keep realistic expectations.  This is new territory for me even though I’ve been a military wife for nearly 12 years.  We haven’t been apart for this long since I was in college and we were dating.  Now, we’ve rarely been apart have three small children.
I’m just not sure how things will go.
Honestly, I just want things to be normal.  Like it always is when we’re together.  But I know we will all have some adjustments.  Probably him more than us.
I expressed my mixed emotions to him and his response went straight to the center of my heart.
“Once I get home, everything will be fine.  We’re the best team I know.”
It’s true.  We are.
He’s my best friend.  He knows all about me and sometimes has insights about me that I haven’t discovered for myself.  The one I’d rather be with over any other.  The one I’ve known for half my life.
And so, despite the continued range of emotions, I know that once it’s just us I’ll grab his hand and we’ll settle in.
A team reunited.

Joy Found

Early spring gifts

You all (or should I say y’all in respect to my past Texas life) know  how much I love 1000 Gifts.  It really is a life changing book.

I wasn’t half way into it before I started keeping track of my gifts.  I was on a roll.  I probably counted 25 or more on the first day alone.

Two weeks ago I was nearly skipping with joy as I got ready for my day.  I even wrote it down.

I felt joyful. Full of joy.

I was taking time to notice the wonderful gifts and blessings in my life.  Big, yes.  But mainly the small.

Such as…

4 The sound of pencil on paper

5 Tree limbs dancing in the wind

7 Music that takes me back to birth days

12 Planning date nights

13 New makeup

16 The first sip of coffee

21 Middle of the night songs

22 The way Connor and Jack stick their tongues out when they concentrate

As I glance back at the calendar for that week I find few commitments.  We had time.  Space.  Room to breath and live.

Room to notice.

The past few weeks, I’ve felt much less joy.  I’ve felt rushed, overwhelmed and scattered.

More burdened than gifted.

So many things.  Events.  Many of which I could have, should have done weeks ago.

There’s no room to notice.  Not with all of the hurry.

And then, I realize what’s missing.

Thanks always comes before the miracle (just ask Ann!) .  I pause.

The kids are outside enjoying the glorious weather.  I look out the window and see

49 pigeon couple walking down the sidewalk

In that moment, I feel the miracle that’s forthcoming.

If only I make the time to give thanks.

Joy Found

Early spring gifts
You all (or should I say y'all in respect to my past Texas life) know  how much I love 1000 Gifts.  It really is a life changing book.
I wasn't half way into it before I started keeping track of my gifts.  I was on a roll.  I probably counted 25 or more on the first day alone.
Two weeks ago I was nearly skipping with joy as I got ready for my day.  I even wrote it down.
I felt joyful. Full of joy.
I was taking time to notice the wonderful gifts and blessings in my life.  Big, yes.  But mainly the small.
Such as…
4 The sound of pencil on paper
5 Tree limbs dancing in the wind
7 Music that takes me back to birth days
12 Planning date nights
13 New makeup
16 The first sip of coffee
21 Middle of the night songs
22 The way Connor and Jack stick their tongues out when they concentrate
As I glance back at the calendar for that week I find few commitments.  We had time.  Space.  Room to breath and live.
Room to notice.
The past few weeks, I've felt much less joy.  I've felt rushed, overwhelmed and scattered.
More burdened than gifted.
So many things.  Events.  Many of which I could have, should have done weeks ago.
There's no room to notice.  Not with all of the hurry.
And then, I realize what's missing.
Thanks always comes before the miracle (just ask Ann!) .  I pause.
The kids are outside enjoying the glorious weather.  I look out the window and see
49 pigeon couple walking down the sidewalk
In that moment, I feel the miracle that's forthcoming.
If only I make the time to give thanks.

{A glimpse} The weekend

50:365

It's been another crazy few days.

The highlight has to have been the e-mail from our CSA that said they had an abundance of apples, onions and potatoes available for free.
We came home with 28 pounds of apples. I've been busy making applesauce.
Because I don't have anything else I should be doing.
Of course not.

All a blur

46:365

The past week or so has been one big blur.  Between board meetings, Valentine's parties, church activities, appointment, errands and more I've hardly noticed the passing of each day.

I hate that.
Each thing on their own is good but all together it is just way. too. much.
It really struck me today when a mom at Connor's preschool asked me if I was counting down the days.  She was referring to Jeff coming home but as I was just looking over new board nominations I thought she meant when I would hand over my position.  Yikes!  I should be so excited and focused on his homecoming and yet there's just so much other stuff taking my attention.
In the few quiet moments I have found the past few days, I've been dreaming of our Spring garden (and must get the planning underway), the arrival of our chicks, having time to bake and work on fun projects around the house both on my own and with the kids.
I've signed up for Tracey's Picture Inspiration.  I so enjoyed the other two workshops of hers that I took and look forward to 52 weeks of ideas and inspiration from her and those in the community.  My camera and I have been reconnecting and I'm enjoying that a lot.

Oh, and summer.  Its not too far off and I'll need to start planning my strategy as we're not taking any trips this summer.

Then, of course, there's Jeff's return.  We're getting close.

Really close.

Yet, I don't really know where to start with all of the emotions that stem from the past nearly 7 months and what lies ahead.  It will be so great to have him home but I know it will be an adjustment for us all.  I'm just ready to get back to our normal.

Whatever that is.

And, much less blur.

All a blur

46:365

The past week or so has been one big blur.  Between board meetings, Valentine’s parties, church activities, appointment, errands and more I’ve hardly noticed the passing of each day.

I hate that.

Each thing on their own is good but all together it is just way. too. much.

It really struck me today when a mom at Connor’s preschool asked me if I was counting down the days.  She was referring to Jeff coming home but as I was just looking over new board nominations I thought she meant when I would hand over my position.  Yikes!  I should be so excited and focused on his homecoming and yet there’s just so much other stuff taking my attention.

In the few quiet moments I have found the past few days, I’ve been dreaming of our Spring garden (and must get the planning underway), the arrival of our chicks, having time to bake and work on fun projects around the house both on my own and with the kids.

I’ve signed up for Tracey’s Picture Inspiration.  I so enjoyed the other two workshops of hers that I took and look forward to 52 weeks of ideas and inspiration from her and those in the community.  My camera and I have been reconnecting and I’m enjoying that a lot.

Oh, and summer.  Its not too far off and I’ll need to start planning my strategy as we’re not taking any trips this summer.

Then, of course, there’s Jeff’s return.  We’re getting close.

Really close.

Yet, I don’t really know where to start with all of the emotions that stem from the past nearly 7 months and what lies ahead.  It will be so great to have him home but I know it will be an adjustment for us all.  I’m just ready to get back to our normal.

Whatever that is.

And, much less blur.