This week isn't going as I'd planned.
Morgan has been home sick with a cold and mild fever. Connor joined her after throwing up at school. They both seem to be on the mend.
Obviously, I feel horrible that they are sick.
Yet, I'm struggling with adjusting my plans and expectations to reality. I'm trying to remind myself that these “divine interruptions” (as a dear mentor in San Antonio referred to them) are just what I need but the housework and studying and hopes of exercise and a few quiet moments are taunting me.
While the kids rest with movies, I've been making soup and listening to the MAPP gathering interviews. This is such an inspiring project designed just for moms.
Today, I listened to Andrea Sher's interview and something they talked about hit me like a ton of bricks. The main thing I walked away with is the reminder that as a mom and woman, I need nourishment (physical yes, but also spiritual) and to be cared for just as much as anyone else in my family.
And yet, even with a wonderful husband who supports me fully, I feel guilty actually putting this into practice. (What is it with moms and guilt?!) That is the absolute worst thing I can do. If I don't take, and make, the time to care for myself how can I possibly care for those I love or do the work that I hope to do? Andrea referred to her self-care activities (and these are not typical beauty type things or even physical but more “whole self” care) as non-negotiables and I think that's a great name.
It's easy for me to justify letting self-care go because of Jeff's crazy work schedule, our limited support system (lack of babysitters, grandparents, etc.), and a myriad of other reasons. But those are all excuses and in reality all I'm doing is compounding stress.
In this situation, no one wins.
Trust me, I know. So do my kids. And Jeff.
The other thing they touched on that really spoke to me was the amount of “static” we fill our lives with. I am horrible about this. Social media, radio, new, tv, and more. I'll confess, I even checked in with Instagram while listening to the interview. Nevermind that only two people I connect with were actually awake during that time.
When there is never any quiet you can't really hear what your soul is saying, let alone God. I can't recommend these interviews highly enough. Check them out. I'm looking forward to listening to the rest of them in the next few days.
May your Tuesday be a good one. Interruptions and all.