These Days

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These days I'm…

Planning :: A girls’ trip to Paris with my mother/sister-in-law and a week in Tuscany over Easter break.

Listening :: To birds chirping in the mornings along with Haim, St. Paul & the Broken Bones and a variety of podcasts.

Moving :: Thanks to yoga, Barre 3 and a crazy loop from our town, up a hill ( small mountain) to the next town and back.

Dreaming :: Of a vacation somewhere tropical, just Jeff and I and knowing that I need to be dreaming of southern Italy, Croatia and the UK (with kids).

Thinking :: About summer plans and our last year in Italy. 

Watching :: Scandal and House of Cards.  I’m no longer shocked by any news I hear out of DC. 

Enjoying :: Each of the kids’ right as they are at 10, 8 and 7.  (Though I could do without some of the sass.)

Noticing :: How easy it is to get used to the sunshine and how much I miss it when it goes away.  I think Colorado spoiled me and moving back to the Pacific NW may be a tougher transition than I think.

Pondering :: Love, justice, why people focus on “the minors” and grace. 

Loving :: That all three of my babes are downstairs making birthday "surprises" for me. 

Feeling :: blessed, grateful, loved.

 

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Clean Slates and Expectations

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 I entered the New Year refreshed and energized, excited for all that was to come with the clean slate of a new year. 

I’m big on fresh starts, and clean slates. 

One reason I love Mondays is because they mark the beginning of 7 days of fresh starts.  My motiviation and enthusiasm is typically at its peak on Monday before reality (and the mundane) can kick in. 

The start of 2014 felt the same way. 

Our Christmas was lovely and the time off we enjoyed together was very needed.   I had some goals set for myself related to health, my volunteerism and getting back to my RHN program.  Jeff was eager to get back to work knowing that there were some big projects ahead. 

We knew that January and February would be a challenging 8 weeks as both boys would be playing basketball which meant two practices and a game for each every week.  On top of that, Jack would continue with soccer practice (and as it turns out a few games/tournaments we weren’t expecting).  

Sure, it would be crazy but we wanted to give the boys the opportunity to play.   Plus, we had all of these plans and new boundaries and goals.

We can do anything for 8 weeks.  It’ll be great.

While that’s true, now that we’ve lived those 8 weeks and seen how the hectic schedule affected us we’re reflecting on whether it’s something we’re willing to do again. 

Those goals and plans that seemed really realistic on January 1 take a lot of work.  Maintaining boundaries is hard when you’re already tired and overwhelmed.  Projects that you thought would go one way end up being something different.

It turns out, that 3 hours of drive time and 8 hours of practice each week while juggling Jeff’s schedule, ensuring homework was done and bedtimes were reasonable resulted in nothing less than craziness. 

We ended up in a state of constant rush and then, in an attempt to be respectful of the two kids that weren’t practicing, Jeff or I would hand them off to the other and hurry home for dinner and bed.

Jeff and I would finally meet on the couch at 8:30 or 9:00 exhausted (and often frustrated). 

March arrived with its sunny days, blossoming flowers and a little more margin in our days. 

We have had a few unexpected, challenges but I’m beginning to recover from the frustration and exhaustion and am now looking forward.

Yes, I now have with more realistic expectations but also the knowledge that I need to be firm in the boundaries we set as a family and those I set for myself. 

My goals and those of our family are important but they won’t happen on their own.  It takes time, dedication often going against the grain and sometimes saying no to good things.